Depressing Morning...

I had a tough morning.

So I didn't pass my 2nd Glucose Test. This morning was a 4 hour group session at the hospital, with some(minimal) one-on-one time with the dietician ... it was more like a workshop, where they went over the causes of gestational diabetes, what to watch for, the diet plan, etc etc...

Hubby had asked me before if I want him to come with me..but I thought, oh well it's just a class, let's not waste a 'holiday' to come with me... let's make better use his time-off when I really need him...plus, his parents are coming soon so he may need some time off... Anyways, I said no need.

But when I got there, there were a few husbands... one girl even came with both husband + sister. The nurse was praising "Oh that is very nice to have someone here to support you..." type things.... OK.. I know I'm in no position to complaint because I was the one who said no need, but still...that didn't make me feel good. Then because of the "one on one" time and I was one of the early ones that arrived...there was about at 45 minutes wait of doing nothing but reading the package they give you...which made me feel even more lonely and starting to feel a little depressed...

During the workshop we were taught how to use the glucose test meter (poking our fingers) and each of us have to take turn showing the nurse (& thus the whole class) how we are doing it. On my right is the couple that had the husband to calm the girl not to be scared and blah blah blah... on my left is the one with husband + sister to cheer her on... OK.. not to make a big fuss, I know it's just poking finger with the needle and getting a tiny drop of blood...but this first time of doing it is kind of scary! and I had to pretend I'm the brave one with no one to whine with .... Again.. can only blame myself coz I told hubby he doesn't need to come! But I didn't know they were going to make me poke my own finger in class!!!

Maybe I'm just getting emotional because of my cough and lack of proper sleep (I haven't slept for almost a week now because of bad night cough..but that's another story) ... but I'm in a pretty depressing mode right now!

When I first arrived at the hospital I left a message on FB saying I'm waiting at the clinic. By the time I left there were many encouraging messages...which I am very grateful for loving friends. HOWEVER! With every encouraging word that I'm getting, comments like "oh, there's alot of women that goes through that.. it's very common, not to worry, It's nothing to worry about...etc etc..."... These are actually ADDing to the pressure... Should I not talk about it anymore? I feel like they are not really understanding my concerns...or I should say, they don't really see my feelings.... I don't want to become a whiner and sounds like I'm making a big fuss out of nothing.... or should I just hide my emotions and pretend I'm not bothered by it...

Oh well... I guess I better get back into my work and maybe getting busy will help me not to think of it.

...maybe I AM becoming an annoying whiner.... which I don't want to be... so will just stop here...